The only thing making you unhappy are your own thoughts. Change them. Do not over index on what you do not have. Just take stock of what you already have: be it your skills, your interests, your friends, your things, your experiences, your children, your family, your connections, your perspective, your spare time, your travels, your commute, your ability to sleep or stay up etc etc.

Then try to use what you already have to design a lifestyle that better matches your preferences vs looking for things to acquire a lifestyle that needs to be fuelled by things you do not have.

When faced with a tough choice, most people will choose the option that requires the least amount of effort and change. Thats why people continue to do things that make them miserable, but they think that when they get past a certain hurdle; be it economic, wealth, health, time, things will be ok. They typically aren't. You can always be richer, fitter, faster, better looking it never stops.

If you want to live a truly satisfying life, don't be most people or don't try to be like most people. Most people are mostly not happy either, the illusion is they are.

Outcomes

"If I did it, Id get it too" syndrome. When I was a semester away from graduating from university. The race to not go back home was on.

For in-state students at Purdue, the estimated cost for the academic year was $10,984, including $3,564 in fees and the remainder for books, room and board, and miscellaneous expenses. Out-of-state or International students had to pay an additional $8,220 in tuition. So my Average expense at Purdue had been 23,000 USD a year. USD to PKR was about 50. So about 1.1M PKR a year. 4 Year degree costing around 5M PKR all in. Give or take. (I don't do public maths so just guessing here)

So after having have your middle-class parents spend a small fortune to go to university the only stable thing to do was to stay back look for work, full time.

4 months before Graduating 9/11 Happened. Brown, Muslim & Pakistani weren't really the hottest ticket in America + needing a visa to stay back. (Story for a different day).

So before 9/11, I was scrambling, to get job interviews. I had done 2 co-ops at General Electric to offset my summer vacations with cash to not draw down on my parents money. I had a small pot of cash. I had a full time offer from GE to go back. I wanted more. GE mind you was the best company in the world circa 2000 to work for and the biggest fortune 500 co.

Any how, I was telling my self I needed to explore my options. What If I didn't look around and miss the hottest ticket by being lured into the industrial complex that was GE. So I got in touch with one of my former GE bosses, who was now outside and working at the bleeding edge of tech. Interview setup. I get e-tickets to a plane ride, to Maryland, a hotel is booked in my name, car to take me to the airport and one rented for me in Maryland.

Night prior I realise I have 1 tie, its in a shit state. Really don't have the time at 6pm and no car in the freezing rain to go get a new tie from a store. Lo and behold, the rich Pakistani club, I went to a friend, let's say that their family was well heeled and it had taken him about 5 years to enjoy his time at Purdue. No rush to get done, different strokes for different folks, his hangout club included "Pakistans 3rd Generation Brand Name Family Kids"(BNFK) (Which included refrigerators, a car brand, rice & cement). The national rent seekers conclave. (NRSC)

He was an all around decent guy, so I went to him to borrow a tie. He in his usual spirt asked me to open a closet, lo and behold 20 ties hanging in there, he gets up hands me a brand new one, says take this, its new, I am not using it any time soon, no interviews etc. Likely both out of no need or desire, but there was a gent sitting there, who asked me, why do you need a tie, I told him I had an onsite interview the next day. He said, whom with I told him about the un-known startup, He said ok. Haven't heard of them, "but you know what, if I wanted, I could have gotten an interview with any one, like Dell, Microsoft, or Others, why are you going after no name companies"

Call it complacency, lack of need, lack of desire, self belief or not giving a shit. I know these clowns to date, they came back to their parents businesses, not one of them applied for a job or had an interview, perhaps didn't need it, or couldn't do it (thats what I tell my self). (No, an internship at daddies private bankers office in Zurich is not a real job nor is one at Abraaj or the family ad-agency, or your criminal lawyers in NYC).

What they tell them selves is their choice, my view holds not one of these guys could survive in the real world if they had to do it on their own, hence they never tried. Money is a good equaliser for ppl to over index on the abilities they have. What would their outcomes be if they tried? Would they be better human beings? more well rounded? good for society? less rent seeking? lesser pricks?

I still have that tie to date and I love it. It serves as memento, I have now worn it to see a PM, a President, A Royal Family member, best of all I wore it to my company's IPO. It reminds me of where I came from, how bad I sucked at high school but, "I did what I had to" and I am happy with the outcome and I do not have to make excuses around "If I did it, Id get it too". Your outcomes are 100% your input. Change it and win.

One New Thing (that I read)

Link to original post here

Boring stuff that Scales

The one thing in my life that has scaled insanely well is staying in touch and using connections as a force multiplier. You say WTF? Yea its a little known secret. The sum of all my work is tied to my singular ability to stay in touch with people, give a shit about people, connect people and know whom to connect. Pairing is an art. It scales beautifully, if you have no commercial interests it scales like a rocket ship with Saudi oil

Before there was LinkedIn, there was AOL Instant Messenger, there was email, and BBM. You most certainly don't need an APP for it. It's a feature not a product. You have to have it in you.

In my mind, people are classified as:

1) Net contributors to the world (across the fields of art, science, their own field of interest, positive personalities, action takers, those with bias for outcome based living)

2) Connectors with good intent (Folks who know others and happy to open doors because the value the power of affinity groups/networks etc).

3) The undiscovered (Folks with talent, skill, mindfulness, resources, empathy, who them selves don't know today that they are destined to do good).

4) The story tellers (Those who can do a TL;DR on life and its issues and hold your attention)

5) Social climbers and attention whores (If you aren't going to contribute to other peoples outcomes and want to climb the social ladder at every one else's cost or expense, you are in this category and forgotten for good)

Build your own mental model to classify people, but before that try to understand why you are doing it, what outcome do you want, its not for every one, but it is a boring skill that pays dividends in ways you cant imagine today.

If you are 16-20 today, be brash, ask people for time, meetings, appointments, go see people, expand your circle across generations of folks, when you are 40, people will think you are a con artist if you just show up to their office, today they will think its cutesy, in 20 yrs from today, they will think you are a looser. Start early and stop forgetting those who help.

I have no shame in sending people cold emails even today, but I started when I was quite young, I don't need to do it as much any more, but I have no hangups because I already know the worst outcome "no response". If the worst you can get from some thing is a NO, try it. Think about the time if it turns in to a YES, plan for that, but be ready to accept the No. Engage the people you meet, let your decency define the outcome and your attitude define the longitivtiy of the relationship. Help before being asked, connect before being reminded, check in before being queried, always show up in person when people are sad/unhappy/facing loss/grief, call when people are happy or celebrating, see it coming instead of wondering.

Helping others, scales beautifully. Try it.

What you should be Reading

Every thing about Memetic desires. The mimetic theory of desire is an explanation of human behaviour and culture which originated with the French historian and polymath René Girard. ... “Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.” Once you get this, mind blown, you can not look at your life again the same way.

So theres a book recommendation if you like what you see. Its called Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life 

Monetise your time

I get asked, "what would you do if you were starting today to build some level of financial independence and all you had was a computer and the Internet?"

Step one

Nothing Happens in a day don't expect miracles

Step two

There is a 2-4 year horizon for any thing free lance, if you have skill

Step three

Pick a space:

1. Master WebFlow, WordPress, & web design fundamentals

2. Be a story teller, engage & learn how to market (to get clients + client results)

3. Learn sales by looking at other peoples sales funnels in the things you buy daily and bring it to your work

4. Delegate to win, there is always some one willing to do some tasks cheaper, faster than you, outsource to win so you can do more of the core.

Made in: Pakistan

Helium10 & Jungle Scout. Both not made in Pakistan, but both at inexpensive price point can help you discover the world of stuff being sold on Amazon, so you can look locally and see if you can buy, source, send and sell those items. You can use the tools to export made in Pakistan items. 2 Examples for you. Shan Masala, some ones selling 4k+ of bundled ones, and 1 for generic curry powder. Look at the results to see the scope and potential. This could be for any product, you like, you can source, that has corresponding demand on Amazon. Your exports await, the price entry may be 99$ that you can pool in to get a subscription to use these tools and start small.

One last thing(that I read)